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INTRODUCTION:
By making personality attractive, one can progress in life and
perform his tasks exceedingly well. Developing a good
individuality is as important as being civilized. Physical
attributes and assets do play a role in shaping up the
personality. But, beauty should not be defined strictly in terms
of physical features and youth alone. Beauty includes
intelligence, character, knowledge, warmth, posture, speech,
personal style, skill and much more.As years pass by, maturity,
experience, will and compatibility get better. Beauty lies in the
eyes of the beholder.@The following would help in making your
personality attractive:- Fill your mind with thoughts that make
you happy.
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They reflect in your face.- Resolve to forget things that caused
you discontentment.- Cultivate to have a cool and calm facial
expression (Looking in the mirror would help).- Stand erect. Let
positive thoughts flow through your mind. Throw away the
opposing/negative thoughts.- Recollect kind thoughts.- Seek God's help
to reflect his good qualities in you.- Be kind to others. Be grateful
to those who show kindness towards you.- Be natural. Go out with the
belief that your inherent shine is radiating from you. (Do not however
become proud or arrogant). We must enjoy doing what we love and love
what we do with a pride. The fainthearted do not pick the roses in
their gardens for fear of thorns; the forceful know that one must run
the risk of being pricked if one wishes to harvest the best flowers.
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. An
attempt has been made to present here some points that will help us to
become successful.
CONDUCTING ONESELF
Despite pressure of work, we should observe proper manners and
etiquette in dealing with others. They make workspaces civilized and
working pleasant. We should exhibit behaviour, which is characterized
by qualities such as courtesy, tactfulness, trustworthiness, empathy,
consideration etc. Be courteous and thoughtful to the people around
you, regardless of the situation. Consider other people's feelings,
but stick to your convictions as diplomatically as possible. Address
conflict as situation-related rather than person-related. And most
importantly apologise when you step on someone's toes. The following
are some of the basic etiquette:- Switch your cell phone off before
you attend a meeting.- Answer the telephone politely and take a
message if the call is for your colleague.- Knock before you enter a
room.- Ask before you sit down.- Wait for people to get out before you
get into the elevator. QUALITIES OF A PERSON WITH A GOOD EMOTIONAL
QUOTIENT- Sensitive to the needs of his co-workers.- Customizes
management style to identify an individual's strength and weaknesses
and helps them grow.- Recognises his subordinates for jobs well done
and rewards them. He does not indulge in self-praise.- Builds cordial
interpersonal relationships and is not completely performance-driven.
TO KEEP COOL WHEN YOU ARE UPSET- Count till 10.- Breathe deeply.-
Indulge in creative visualization. (Close your eyes,andimagine that
you have accomplished the given task in the best possible manner).-
Give positive affirmations to yourself.- Be positive (See the other
person's point of view).- Have confidence in your problem-solving
skills. Discuss issues and problems with your colleagues and seniors;
seek and accept their help. Be rational and logical.
POWER OF THOUGHTS:
A person shapes his nature by the result of his thoughts and ideals.
The result of his actions is dependent on his way of thinking. When a
person thinks affirmatively, those thoughts influence his
individuality and enable him to achieve success in his efforts. One
should fix up a goal with a pure mind and when he thinks with
concentration, keeping that in mind, thoughts will arise which will
help to achieve that goal. Henry Ford said: 'Think deeply and
cultivate attraction. When you want to do a work, think with
concentration, arrange what is needed to accomplish that. When you
think about a thing deeply, you get attracted to that and you will get
that in a way that you can utilize it.' Be optimistic and encourage
positive thoughts.
FACE THE ISSUES
Facing the issues, instead of trying to avoid them, will enhance your
courage, self-confidence and thinking steadily will help in that.
Whatever may be the obstacles on the way, resolve constructively in
your mind and move forward to achieve your goal. If your resolve is
proper, God will help you. When you are agitated or when injustice is
done to you, do not react in haste, learn to remain calm in a
dignified way by strolling, observing greenery and thinking of proper
ways to handle the issue.
REQUISITES FOR SUCCESS
To exercise control over our behaviour even when circumstances are not
favourable.- To cultivate with discipline conducting peacefully and
cheerfully with others.- Studying moods of people.- To handle issues
with courage and intelligence.
SPOT POTENTIAL LEADERS AND EMPOWER THEM
The characteristics that help identify potential leaders are:-
Authenticity (They do not put on persona)- Not self-centered
(Interested in serving rather than garnering power)- Using adversity
to advantage.- Persistence.- Learning from one's mistakes.- Focusing
on the positive.- Seeing, recognizing and seizing an opportunity.
Empowering employees who are of Victim mode (they ramble incessantly
about their misery), Cynic mode (they focus on the negative) and
Bystander mode (they watch the game from the side lines) must be
avoided. People who operate in navigator mode should be empowered.
They are incharge of their lives: physical, emotional, intellectual,
social and spiritual. They focus on what they can change (by
considering why the change is needed, the benefits it can produce and
the likely tradeoff involved) and, consequently, have a deep sense of
personal peace. They seek out opportunities for improvement and ways
to help minimize the negative reactions. They maintain their optimism
by constantly balancing present pain against future gain.
TO HAVE OPTIMUM ENERGY LEVELS
Food that has complex carbs, good quality fat, good proteins and rich
in vitamins, minerals and antioxidants (Over cooked or reheated food
is highly unhealthy. Sprouts and salads are good).- B vitamin
supplements (Bananas, unpolished rice, dals, pulses, whole grain
cereals, peas).- Fibre rich foods (Brown rice) and dry fruits, nuts,
seeds.- Get an Oxygen high by steering clear of polluted surroundings
and taking a glass of raw vegetable juice daily.- Sit upright, walk
without a hunch.- Exercise regularly.- Sleep well for 7-8 hours
everyday.- Every half an hour or so, take a small break.- Distress (Prioritise,
delegate, and also wholly eliminate the unnecessary tasks. Realistic
goals, prioritizing and positive thinking help. Yoga, Deep breathing
exercises and Prayer help).- Eat small, frequent meals.- Keep your
surroundings cool.- Have a lot of greenery in your surroundings.-
Avoid cigarettes, alcohol and coffee.- Think positive and keep out
negative thoughts.- Laughter.
INTERVIEW AND GROUP DISCUSSION
In an interview, a candidate is essentially evaluated on three broad
parameters-knowledge, behaviour and confidence. Self-awareness is
important. Mere factual knowledge is not enough. One should be able to
discuss issues analytically. Amongst other things, interviewers try to
gauge a candidate's personal disposition-his confidence,
level-headedness, poise, maturity, enthusiasm, sincerity and
friendliness.@The group discussion reveals the social behaviour of a
candidate. Selectors judge participants' team skills, leadership
potential, articulation and analytical ability through this exercise.
It is the quality of one's views that matters, not the time taken.
Articulation should give a definite direction, meaning or conclusion
to the discussion. While assessing cognitive skills in the group
discussion, selectors want to see if you are able to comprehend the
core idea of what is being discussed. Do not initiate talk if you are
not familiar with the given subject. First understand and analyse the
topic. Reason logically and support your answer with examples. Add
correct and accurate figures to prove your argument and conclude it
appropriately. Introduce new points and do not repeat what you or
others have already said. Be short and sharp in your responses.
Demonstrate an amiable attitude and team spirit.
FACTORS FOR JOB SATISFACTION- Having a best friend at work.- Knowing
what is expected of me.- Having the materials and equipment I need.-
Rank and title matter more than pay.- A flexible schedule.-
Collaborating with others.- Having a variety of duties.
LIFE IS A BATTLE
Life has become hectic and machine like with the result we have no
time even to stare at the sunrise or enjoy the other facets of nature.
We should fight only to live happily, to win over enemies in the form
of weaknesses, to get over opponents like issues/problems, but in the
name of war we should not convert our life into a battle field. Fight
is necessary for self-defence but is foolish for illegal occupation.
One should decide himself the goal of his war.@There is no use cursing
the darkness. One has to get up and switch on the light or light a
candle. A person, who wants to fight the issues or aims to become
number one, creates light in darkness and goes in search of
opportunities.@You have the talent, enthusiasm for your goal,
self-confidence to encourage your desire: all that is needed is only
to start making efforts and brazing ahead. Each issue you face is a
war by itself. Those who have the inspiration and courage to fight the
issues are the victors who will make their dreams come true.
TO LEAD A STRESS-FREE LIFE
Everyone has some problems or the other. Those slowly lead to stress.
They tie some people. The following would help in getting rid of the
stress:- Every incident can get us some benefit. Have a positive
attitude and think what you can gain from that experience.- Do not
bother about the mistakes made earlier. Do not worry about the future.
Convert the present into an optimistic and creative way.- Do not
compare yourself with others.- Do not feel jealous of what others
have. Be contented with what you have.- Leave the ego. Get rid of the
thought from your mind that you are greater than others.- Do not try
to solve many issues at one time. Take one issue and try to solve it
utilizing all the abilities at your command.- If the issue cannot be
solved despite making all the efforts, do not worry. Time can solve
all the problems.- Think that criticisers are your well-wishers. By
pointing out the weaknesses in you, they act as psychotherapists. Do
not criticize any one who is not present.- Never think of taking
revenge. Forgive and forget.- Put the burden of all problems on God
and relax. Be without worries.- Cultivate an optimistic approach for
day-to-day incidents. - Observe your mind carefully. This enables
controlling unnecessary thoughts and giving rest to the mind.-
Laughing is an antidote to stress. Laugh at your mistakes but not at
others.- Pray for 15 minutes daily. That will give mental peace and
steadiness, and the much needed rest to mind and body.
BENEFITS OF SABBATICALS- Eventually his/her upgraded competencies will
bring value to the company.- Good retention mechanisms for the
organisation's high performers.- They reinforce a culture of
continuous learning.- They allow skill-sets to grow.- The employee
feels valued in knowing that the company was willing to hold a job
open for him or her.
BENEFITS OF GOSSIPING ABOUT THE COMMON ENEMY- A useful emotional
release and a good way of building a rapport with others.- Helps build
group morale.- Team-building.- Shows up people's personalities (If you
find out that the complaint your colleague has made about something or
someone is untrue, you have found something out about them, notably
that you can't trust them. This will be useful in working life).- The
very act of grumbling makes you feel better.- Can act as a great
stress-reliever.- Gossip can be a constructive means of expressing and
managing emotion-anger, envy and frustration towards a colleague or
situation.- A way of dealing with anxiety.- A therapeutic experience
to let off steam.
MEDITATION
Smooth coordination between body, mind and spirit enriches your
health. Meditation helps this coordination. Don't suppress negative
feelings like anger, fear or greed. Meditation helps in both physical
and mental healing. The way to meditate:- Lie or sit down with a
relaxed frame of mind.- Concentrate on a single point. You may do it
with eyes either closed or open.- Play some relaxing background music,
in case that helps you to concentrate better.- The idea is not to
empty your mind of all thoughts but to still it.
ACHIEVING THE TARGET
Have motivation. Observe discipline with will power, keeping the
following points in view, to achieve the target: - Set your goal
(Focusing too much on achievement and too little on your efforts leads
to frustration)- Set practical targets, believe in them and work on
them.- Positive visualization.- Understand your emotions.- Respect
yourself, enhance your self-esteem with positive message like 'I am
strengthening my positives and unloading my weaknesses.'- Create a
healthy environment.- Be receptive to change (Any growth involves
change, so don't cling to old patterns)- Be patient (Enjoy your
success even if it comes in small doses)- Be positive even in the face
of adversity.
SELF-CONFIDENCE
In life, fighting with the issues is a continuing process. You have
the requisite armaments to fight. The basket of arrows is with you.
You have to collect your self-confidence and get started. You can
assemble your infinite strength to solve the issues by proper
thinking, reflecting on the alternative solutions, expertise,
determination, self-confidence, sincerity and spirit to fight. Keeping
the following in view will help:- Before you do a work, estimate its
effect, gain, loss etc.- Do not show your anger immediately. Exhibit
happiness immediately.- Be transparent with atleast one person in life
(preferably life partner) - Hear whatever advice others give. Think
again. If what you have thought of doing appears still sound, then go
ahead.- Take responsibility, be it success or failure. Stop blaming
others.- Do atleast one work in a day/week that gives you
contentment.- Don't deceive yourself.- Take failure as a
stepping-stone to success and success as an inspiration to victory.-
Get enthusiasm/inspiration from issues/failures.
DREAM AND STRIVE TO REALISE THEM
Dream dreams and make efforts to realize them. Those dreams should be
inspiring and enthusing and should give contentment to the soul.
Passion to realize the dream, treating work as worship and making
adequate efforts are required. One should try to get over his
weaknesses. To make life interesting and achieve substantial progress,
one should not confine to routine rut but should go in sometimes for
different things like meeting relatives, spending time with close
friends and children, trying to know new things, going out for
lunch/dinner etc.
HOW TO BE HAPPY
Happiness is a state of mind-you is as happy as you will yourself to
be. Keys to being happy at the work place are:- Challenges in the
current job (Challenging work environment) - The infrastructure of the
company.- Making the job role clear right at the outset.- Benefits on
the welfare front.- Well rounded pay package.- Relationship with the
boss.- If you are unhappy at the work place, talk about it to your
boss to see if any changes could be initiated.
MAKING CONVERSATION MEANINGFUL
The following would help to enhance conversational strengths:- You set
the stage for greater interactivity by acknowledging communication
(Signals that acknowledge the person's point of view are raising
queries, seeking clarifications and using body language).- Clarity
about conversational intent at the beginning itself makes it easier
for the other person to give a better thought out and more purposeful
response in declining or accepting your point of view.- By conveying a
message with clarity, we help the other person visualize a clearer
picture of our experience.- Convey sincerity and involvement (Convey
what you see and hear, add how you feel, add reasons, speak about what
you want, mention the objective).- Open-ended questions allow for more
thought-out and committed responses.- Words are not the only medium of
communication. More than 65% of our communication is non-verbal: this
is where the body language comes into the picture. One has to learn
patience. Your body, mind and heart will tell you what you should say
and what you should not. Listen to their signals, get their approval
before you speak.
CONCLUSION
To make rapid strides in life, one should learn to observe silence.
Silence enhances our deciding faculty. By being calm and cool, one can
think dispassionately and conduct in a way that he not only makes
others happy but also receives approbation from them. He creates
confidence and courage in others' minds. It is contemplative silence
that enables our progress. By recognizing and thinking about the
weaknesses in us, we will be able to get over them and become strong.
The contemplative silence leads to victory in career and happiness in
life. We should remember that silence is the temple for pure, good and
constructive thoughts.@Getting along well with people is a sure way to
elicit their cooperation and achieve success. For this, one should
increase his circle of friends. The way to do this is developing
friendly mentality, not being selfish, showering love on others and
being considerate to them. One should cultivate speaking pleasantly
and softly with love and respect. By conducting ourselves well, we
will be able to discover friends. @Self-belief is quite the key
ingredient for success. Winning is a matter of habit, a matter of the
mind, a matter that needs to be focused on at every level.
Competitions are won first in the mind. One should be physically fit
and mentally active. Reading is as essential for the mind as is
exercise for the body. A happy person is capable of remarkable
achievements. The following would help to maintain mental health:-
Accept yourself as you are (even if you have some shortcomings).
Respect yourself. Try to improve your individuality/personality.- Keep
in view your destination. Heed to what your conscience says. Do not
get entangled in conflicts. It is only when you divert your attention
from the goal, obstacles on the way looking dangerous.- Perform to the
best of your ability and do not worry about the outcome.- Hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst.- Many things that we fear about do
not happen. Do not worry for the future.- Accept others as they are.
(Being human beings, they may also have some drawbacks).- Spend some
time in a hobby like hearing/ singing music, painting, writing,
gardening etc.)- If yours is a desk job, spend sometime in brisk walk/games.Keep
in mind that you cannot change the world but you can change yourself.
Enthusiasm is the fuel for life. It can take you to your destination.
By learning from yesterday's mistakes, you can become wiser today.
People will judge you by your deeds but not by your desires. Patience
is a virtue. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. That
should be the motto.
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